Grieving a Loved One Who Died by Suicide
You will never be the same person again. Life often divides itself into “before they died by suicide” and “after they died by suicide.” Sleep may be the only time you feel brief relief—if you can sleep at all. When you wake up, for a split second it’s as if it didn’t happen. Then the pain comes flooding back.
There is a hole in your heart that feels unfillable. You’ve cried so hard your ribs ache. You may be going through the motions of life without actually living. Death is permanent. How could they do it? How could they take their own life? How were they in so much pain and you didn’t see it?
The Weight of Guilt, Shame, and Isolation
Sometimes you think it’s your fault. Sometimes you tell yourself you should have done more. People don’t know what to say. They may try, but it lands wrong. Or they avoid you altogether. You may feel like a “cautionary tale” others compare themselves to—“at least I’m not them”—so they can feel better about their own lives.
These feelings—guilt, shame, isolation—are common reactions to suicide loss. But they can also deepen grief into something more complex: complicated grief. That’s where compassionate, evidence-based therapy can help.
Meet with a Psychologist Who Understands Complicated Grief
Having had my own experience with a loved one dying by suicide, I bring a unique perspective to your pain. As a licensed psychologist specializing in complicated grief therapy, I understand how grief related to suicide loss can be unlike any other bereavement.
When you begin complicated grief counseling, you will feel understood and validated. Through our work together, you can begin to process your loss, release self-blame, and start living again while still honoring your loved one’s memory
What Therapy for Suicide Loss Can Help With
Guilt and self-blame (“I should have known,” “If I had done more”)
Shame, isolation, and feeling like you don’t deserve to heal
The sharp ache of complicated grief that lingers long after the funeral
Learning how to hold both your grief and your life at the same time
Rebuilding meaning and relationships after suicide loss
Why Therapy Is Different from Support Groups or Coaching
Support groups can offer community. Coaching can help with tasks or routines. But clinical therapy addresses the deep psychological and trauma responses that suicide loss often triggers. As a trauma-informed, EMDRIA-Certified EMDR therapist, I combine grief counseling with evidence-based approaches to help you heal at the root.
You may not believe it yet, but a meaningful life after suicide loss is possible. Therapy won’t erase the loss or the love. It can help you integrate the pain, soften the guilt, and begin to feel moments of connection, relief, and even joy again—without betraying your loved one’s memory.
